Somehow we are in the second week of October, the year is almost to an end, and soon we will be in 2020! Today, I stumbled upon a list of 5 goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the year and to my surprise, I had in some capacity accomplished them all. I say to my surprise because in recent years I was the Queen of setting goals in January and somehow forgetting them all by March. 2018 was one of my roughest years to date, physically I was in the worst shape of my life, mentally I was depressed and spiritually I felt alone. The worst part of it all was that very little people knew what was going on internally, for an entire year I was bottling up emotions and experiences and it was truly killing me inside. I am being completely raw and honest because this has a happy ending, and I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t gone through that rough patch. Going into 2019 I found a light in life that helped me overcome all of what I was going through. That light was found on a day I decided to yelp my nearest church, and on a Sunday morning, I went to a service alone, ashamed because I hadn’t really prayed in what seemed years. I remember sitting at the top of the amphitheater, and listening to this pastor give his sermon. I felt as if he was talking directly to me, I felt chills the entire service and at the end, we were dismissed by a song that brought me to my knees as I cried uncontrollably. At that moment, for the first time in my life, I FELT God, He was there, He was holding me and calling me to Him. After that day I made my relationship with Jesus my number 1 priority.
My goal at the beginning of the year said this;
“..I want to work on my relationship with Jesus. With Him, I am learning to forgive those who have hurt me, and I am seeing changes within myself I didn’t think I was capable of changing. I am slowly becoming the woman I have always wanted to be.”
Reading that brings a smile to my face because I am now, so spiritually filled with love, knowing that I am never actually alone. I have truly forgiven those who have hurt me in the past. I have forgiven myself for mistakes I did, and I have changed my perspective in life to an overall positive outlook, that I owe to finding God. Before I continue, I must be clear that all of that did not happen overnight, in fact, it took all of 2019 for me to be in the place I am now. Some days were easier than others, and maybe there were some weeks where I completely forgot to even stop for a moment to pray. However, throughout the year I would always come back to Him. Every good thing that has happened to me this year, I stop and thank Him. Every bad thing that has happened, I know deep inside that it was something that was meant to happen. So I try to find the meaning and purpose behind it and try and learn from it instead of being upset. I feel so spiritually connected, and am excited to grow on this path throughout my life moving forward.
This post was a little longer than usual, but it was important to me to open up on this chapter of my life before I share the rest of my goals with you. I truly believe that I am becoming the woman I have always wanted to be, and I now know that I couldn’t do this alone. I hope that if you’re reading this you feel inspired to go back and review the goals you set in January for yourself. If you’re a little behind, don’t be discouraged, the year isn’t over and it’s never too late to work on yourself.
Outfit details; I’m wearing a romper from Fashion Nova, you can shop it here. I fell in love with the color & sheer sleeves, it’s classy yet sexy and those are some of my two favorite combinations. The front is a little low cut so I wore a lace nude bra underneath for a little peek a boo action. I’d totally wear this out for date night or a fun holiday party! I am wearing an XS but to be honest I would go for a Small next time since the back was a little cheeky. haha